Cooke Serves up a Treat

A glorious summer afternoon at Chilwell, for the first time on tour, with a bumper turn out of 17. Millionaires golf with the course empty apart from members Doris and Agnes who turned up 5 minutes late and had their whole afternoon ruined by a group of burly blokes. Pre-drinks and a catch up was the order of the day before under starter’s orders at 2.

Jenkinson, enjoying 3 months of gardening leave, Chilwell member and the heartbeat of the Keyworth Utd midfield Bremner, and the man mountain Keyworth defender, Cooke, with one former TGS outing to his name in 2006 and goals in a short Air Hostess career opened proceedings. The latter trying every trick in the book for a handicap increase - the best, an appearance of a hastily applied wrist bandage - subsequent removal on 12 raised questions! Cooke was hotter than the days temperature on the short stuff, three 1 putts for 8 points in 3 holes, a nice birdie on 2 the highlight, followed by a trio of nett birdies for a scorching opening 9, to be the best of the day. Whether this contributed indirectly to the form of Jenkinson’s is unsure but in Svenko’s eyes, YES! A steady opener couldn’t have prepared Jenks for what unravelled as a series of irons flew handsomely through greens and were last seen landing near Beeston. Clubbing 2 less than his playing partners faired little better and the duo were held firmly responsible! Someone phone Vic and change the locks! Bremner had the onerous task of the days host but delivered under the pressure, nett eagle very welcome up the par 5 6th. Cooke by 6 at the turn. Bremner halved the deficit on 10 with a rare Cooke no score, and kicked on but had no answer to Cooke's ‘bounce back ability’ as the big number 5 slammed the door with a storming finish, nett eagle on 16, posting a monstrous target. The paramedic was put on hold as Jenkinson’s blood pressure returned to a stable state, notching on every back 9 hole. Although the thinnest of saplings, on 14, no bigger than a balls width, snaffled an approach to increase the angst. I’m sure I saw it move Jenks!

Daft, still tour favourite with minimal movement in the market, the elegantly dressed Hefter and celebrity Horsburgh Snr had points to prove. Hefter zigzagged up the 1st, still bemused as to how his father could shoot 55 over 9 holes with a six iron and a putter at the first time of asking. It must be genetic, please be in the genes! Horsburgh made steady progress using everyone of his clubs to make an impression, while Daft started and finished the front 9 with a no score, although perhaps one of the only ones to cover themselves in glory on the tough 5th – the best of less than a 50% completion rate. Whilst foraging for a lost ball on 5 – Hefter revealed a pink ball, a golf ball, please! and decided it might change his fortunes. Fortunately justice proved it got the contempt it deserved. 1 shot – fore – lost – move on! Tight – Horsburgh Snr by 1. Hefter scored all the way home without incident as did Daft who found his rhythm after missing his mid-week sighter and finished strongly with 2 nett birdies, unfortunately not quite enough to oust group winner Horsbugh Snr, who finished 1 clear amid a clutter of paparazzi. When interviewed about his revival there appears to be more method in the 2 club madness. ‘I scored more points with my rescue iron and putter on the back 9 holes than with all 13 put together on the front! Next up the Radcliffe 2 club shoot out...

A window in A.T’s hectic holiday schedule allowed him to attend and with it partnered son number 2, Vin and his French Family Ski Partner in crime, Duffin.

Vin played through a whole range of emotions, mainly despair while Duffin tried to play through the effects of a ‘Stess late night lock in. The beating sun not ideal! A.T opened in style with a comfortable birdie although it was Duffin who opened most solidly with 8 points through 4, despite thinking he was back in the Alps and each tee shot needed to clear a mountain. ‘Oh give me a break!’ echoed round the 5th as Vin found the tree in the middle of the fairway which in turn found the brook as the red mist descended. A.T limped through to the turn for a 3 shot advantage. The green keepers’ shed and adjacent wall rebounded a ‘fore left’ from Vin on 10 but the maestro couldn’t capitalise, as the possibility of the ‘TGS Low’ began to figure more prevalently in the mind. Another birdie for A.T set up a rousing back 9 as the last pint of Becks still sat heavily with Duffin. ‘Sod it!’ was the comment from Vin on 14 after bunker – bunker – bunker and a big finish required. And what a finish! Clubbing three clubs less than his playing partners (quote ‘because I was angry!) a 9 iron flew all of 160 yards into wind on to the top level of the green, two putts – pressure off – Now I like golf again! 2 further nett birdies in the last two holes regained sanity in a strong finish. A.T. with the group spoils.

Tuckwell Jnr, still basking in Saturday’s KCC last ball thrilling victory, Tiger Woods ’08 Radford, sun kissed Hall and debutant Marriot all got away cleanly. Hall in blistering free swinging form around the opening 4 with the 3 wood working with unerring accuracy. Radford, demonstrating a full blooded Wii practice shot middled Tuckwell’s 4 iron causing an indention in the bigman’s wood– but appeared unproblematic as 18 points in 6 holes concluded by far one of the most impressive opening 9 of the day. The flop shot approach thrice finishing stone dead amid some high fives. Tuckwell, suffering from some verbal diahorrea, was another to be derailed by the 5th and greed got the better on 7, a gap not as big as anticipated ricocheted off a tiny tree. Talking his partners through the high draw that was about to be executed off the 8th, the final resting place of the ball can be deduced from the comment by Hall, ‘Even Tony Hart couldn’t draw that one!’ as it sailed off…further and further... Marriot’s good holes were very, very good, a touch of consistency required but well played in the first outing for a while. Radford held a swashbuckling 7 shot lead at the turn. Hall produced a purple patch mid back 9, a fantastic birdie on 9 as a lengthy snaking putt never looked like missing. A great effort also on the Par 3’s: 2 over for the combined 4. 2 birdies provided Tuckwell with the catalyst but with etiquette lacking Radford kept composure as the football scores were relayed loudly to the final group mid swing. Radford finished with a tidy nett par for group honours and a very pleasing round.

Meadows, fresh from his usual Sunday morning Stanton outing ,and as always dashingly attired, joined the final 4, along with Hood and his first outing in 18 months, Horsburgh Jnr, keen to improve on a sneaky midweek Wollaton sighter and the determined Dean. A chip in birdie up the opener for Meadows set the heart pumping; one more point in the next 5 set the blood boiling. A bag clatter and a buckled trolley wheel alleviated the pressure gauges. Hood faired best on the opening 4 holes but the troublesome 5th struck again with all 4 failing to register, Hood found the edge of water and a hefty whack resulted in dislodging a spare ball landing close to Meadows, unaware of the owner of the second object, Meds believed the two ball behind were the culprits and was about to be unleash his fury as the trolley was spun 180. Horsburgh quickly established calm. Crossing the road to the back 10 proved the spur for Dean, as the low scoring 4 were separated by a solitary shot. A similar start to the back 9 for Meadows, birdie, briefly caused optimism before playing out in a similar highly testosteroned fashion. Horsburgh decided to hit hyper drive with a procession of nett birdies, as did Hood before the bogey train arrived. Dean’s nett eagle on 13 launched him up back into the mix for the final push tied with Horsburgh Jnr with 2 to play, 3 ahead of Hood. A magnificent 7 point two hole finish from Hood saw the trio draw level with Hood victorious on count back. Well played Ollie. A dejected Dean unveiled the harshness of his playing partners, after a putt inside 2 foot was missed early on ,a further 3 were not conceded and also missed, leaving the Horsburgh shoulders moving vertically vigorously, with Dean retorting ‘miserable b***ards’.

A great day and a tale of two nines: the first averaging a miserly 12 points and the back a solid 16. The round belonged to one man who quite literally deep fried the rest of the field: Cooke (40) eclipsing his nearest challenger by 6, with a fantastic round. Bremner (34 B3:7) found the podium on debut and on home soil from A.T (34 B3:6) followed closely by Horsburgh Jnr (32) of which all 3 scooped the back 9 high of the day of 20, to carry on some promise to Radcliffe in two weeks time.

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