Singing with the Frame

Ramsdale Park: Buggy boys and experienced pros, Baker Snr and Tuckwell Snr opened up with a fired up Meadows fully equipped with game plan, pre shot routine and caddy (a TGS first!) A.T. was baited on his return to the fold as Meadows launched a monster which flew the green head high much to the concern of the players in front. Baker tried to emulate this on the second, some youths on the adjacent Par 3 the target: ball unrecovered! The ‘I Spy’ fans were treated to a array of points in the ‘caddies’ edition: some high fives, low fives, knuckle touches, club twizels and tosses could all have been ticked off in an electric 9 point 3 hole start for Meadows. A.T notched up three separate bunker trips on 4 as Baker Snr strolled away with 4 points. Two holes later Baker Snr was at it again a fine birdie 2 over the water for yet another 4 points. Meadows kept his composure for a front 9 lead of 5 as the cart waited at Cardiac Hill. The trio hit the 11th before the skies aptly resembled the pub on the way to the course: The Worlds End! The handbrake was firmly applied to the fair weather duo of Baker and Meadows, the latter not registering until 13. The 3 ahead possibly contributing after being peppered yet again on 12 and the ball doing a ‘Houdini’. Tuckwell braved the conditions: 4 points with a net eagle on 12. As the sun reappeared Baker regained composure, although I Spy fanatics were in for a treat as the caddy ended up in the buggy with blisters as Meadows was reduced to carrying. Tuckwell provided words of wisdom: a 3 wood was about to be catapulted into an adjoining field before the red mist receded. Despite not contributing to the last Tuckwell gained the club house lead on count back as the group was separated by a shot.

Triple H: Horsburgh Jnr, Hoenigmann and the always well dressed Hefter were second out. The trio kept it on the straight and narrow more intent playing ‘I spy’. Hoenigmann, Barnes Wallaced one through the pond on 6 for more points as Horsey ground out a procession of pars. Hefter finished strongly as the skies darkened. Horsburgh by 1. The rain once again played havoc, dousing the scoring. Hoenigmann faring the worst. Mind clearly back on the podium collecting his recent Commonwealth team fencing silver, Mikey flashed at one tee shot as though an opponent with his epee, unfortunately the ball remained motionless in its exact position on the tee peg. Horsburgh crept home with a one shot lead over Hefter.

Tuckwell Jnr and Daft were accompanied by a far more colourful and vibrant Frame after his last outing! Tuckwell struck the early impetus with a net eagle on 4 as Daft struggled with a couple of short ones. Frame, playing within himself, decided enough was enough and uncorked a beast on the near 500yd 7th. An 8 iron set up a net eagle, followed by net birdie, birdie, eagle. Unplayable! Daft kept in the hunt with consecutive sand saves as Tuckwell continued 2 point monotony. Frame by 2 in a high scoring trio. Waterproofs donned and unfazed by the impending gloom the threesome maintained their strangle hold on the course, amongst much merriment. The long 15th proved a blip for all but only momentarily for Frame as net eagle, birdie left him standing on 18 with a huge 42 points, the sun on his back, chips and sandwiches on the horizon and Ladd’s all comers record in sight. . . Unfortunately a double reload into the trees kept the record safe for another day as Daft and Tuckwell jostled for group second place.

Frame (42) with a truly quality round, secured his first win of the season hurtling him near to the each way money. Daft (36) playing right into form with North Shore on the horizon pipped playing partner Tuckwell Jnr (36) on the back 9. Tuckwell finally finding some form away from Stanton and after the last disappointing outing! Tuckwell Snr (30) kept his faint title hopes alive from Meadows (30)

The Prophecy is Fulfilled

‘I’d bring your wellies to Six Hills, time to fill your boots’
(C. Ladd ’06 : Rufford)

Horsburgh Jnr set off in a Baker sandwich, with Snr and Jnr making up the trio. Baker Snr set off with purpose: an opening net eagle as Horsburgh educated Baker Jnr in the ways of the ‘utility’ wood. Baker Jnr unruffled stuck to his proper golf and reaped the usual rewards! A high scoring front 9 saw Baker Snr clear by 1. Baker Jnr stalled with a succession of waywardness but regained optimism with a birdie, birdie finish for 7 points and more importantly 29 points and another shot back as North Shore approaches! Horsey wobbled mid way through (probably due to missing a fairway!) but finished strongly: unfortunately the elation of draining a 40 footer off the back of the 18th gave way to despair as it gave the Horse 37 points and a further shot docked! Baker Snr joined the exclusive 5 point club with a wonderful birdie on the ‘Everest’ shaped 15th green and also finished strongly for the group lead.

‘Practice Makes Perfect’ Meadows, ‘Sleep Deprived Romeo’ Dessaur and ‘Form Man’ Daft were eager to impress. Meadows set the tone with a monster up the first as Daft kept it where it needed to be. Dessaur running on empty: remained in the hunt with a procession of 3 pointers. Meadows led the charge by 3 at halfway. Daft and Meadows were head to head until the yardage got the better of the latter: A bunker too far led to what was reported as a ‘daddy long leg dance’ from the group behind, but was soon revealed as meltdown as bag, clubs then sand went flying! Dessaur, visibly and mentally drained, found the last a hole too much as the young pups were separated by 1. Meadows found water off the tee, but a wedge to a foot saved par. Daft powered home with a closing birdie for 4 points.

Hefter and Jenkinson were wondering how they could coax Frame round: Framey a little ashen and green around the gills form the previous nights wedding reception. The golf did the talking with the trio inseparable at the turn. A birdie for 4 points the highlight from Frame at the 9th. Jenko was inches short for his eagle attempt on 11 as he attempted to open a gap and was cruising with 4 to play. Hefter clung on to the shirt tails with a much improved short game. Fitness was beginning to tell for Frame although a positive par gave faint hope. However Jenkinson limped across the line with the group accolades but will be disappointed with 3 points in the last 4 holes.

Tuckwell & Ladd were drawn last with late arrivals Phoenix and Hall, the latter fresh from 90 mins against Arnold ex-Servicemen and a coolly slotted penalty to boot. The awesome foursome had a very American feel to it after Phoenix opened up with a ditty about a U.S of A President, a one legged and no legged Private and a foul mouthed cranium awaiting the dentist. Cue hysterics! Hall set off on a flier amidst ‘whoops & hollers’, only for (Arfur) Ladd to match him shot for shot with his half set (logic: ‘I don’t have to decide if it is a 7 or an 8 if I only have a 5 and a 9!) leading the fairways hit stats. Phoenix got off to a scrappy start but topped the sand saves honours with 3 majestic up and downs in 4 holes earning the nickname of ‘Les Ferret’. However it was Ladd by 1 at the turn. An errant Phoenix ‘OB’ on 11 was softened with 9 brand new balls whilst ferreting on private property as Ladd was a foot short with his eagle putt. Hall began to feel the pace as Ladd cranked it up a notch: 15 points in 5 holes yielding the ‘bearded clam’ award. Ladd birdied 17 and looked to have one eye on his own TGS high score but finished with a disappointing double. Phoenix and Hall both finished strongly: Matt with a career high score. Meanwhile… Tuckwell seemed to be practising for a new game show ‘Putts win Prizes’ but failed to realise that ‘less is more’. Also visits to the water are as useful as going lower on a 3: Going out of bounds the equivalent of a hot spot and bounding over the perimeter fence regularly as valuable as your ‘BFH’. In desperation he turned to a Top Flite ‘Infinity’ but that was soon sent to the back of beyond and a career low round – TFC! The Messiah had spoken and indeed delivered, even with a half set of clubs and the ever lively Phoenix and erratic Tuckwell to contend with. Ladd (41) home again for his second victory of the year, a renewed interest in the business end shake up but a rather low mark to be approaching North Shore with!

Daft (40) compiled another top draw round with a blob and a couple of 1 pointers and Baker Snr (39) out shot his younger playing partners to make up the rostrum. Meadows (38) had his sights set on the 40’s and could figure with confidence at a high could figure with 2 to play. Horsburgh Jnr (37) also had his winged clipped but enhanced his status at the top of the standings.

Lights...Camera...Action

Once again the Rufford bound group were able to bask on the veranda with a fine view of the 9th green and more importantly search for the legendary blue stakes, whilst waiting for the last of the roasties to be brought out for the pre game feast. The days on course marshal and photographer, Hepburn, made it just in time from Whatton Prison after appearing for the first game of the Tollerton Vets FC Season: Hepburn already providing the days highlight for Bazwaldo: as Chris’ man was replaced at a corner by a cross between Kanu and Mike Tyson, answering to the name of Tiny, Bubba or Sir. Try any ‘megs’ Chris..?

Hefter was once again kitted out in faultless attire, maybe one eye on Mr October, as the wind whipped up some bouffants to various shapes and sizes. The young bucks of Brown, Tuckwell & Meadows were relishing the thought of taming the wind and all decided during the journey that some 2 iron lynx golf would be the required shot and agreed that was the plan…10 mins after arrival, plan out the window with Meadows at the counter, with a grin, purchasing a super sized Callaway Mega Bertha. ‘I’ve always wanted one of these!’ replied with a wry smile. With dinner devoured the groups decided a quick assault on the putting green would be helpful before with the friendly tee marshal eagerly imparted the laws of the land.

The paparazzi poised and news that the blue stakes were again to be enforced even if you can’t find your ball, result, Tuckwell Jnr, Meadows and Hefter set off. ‘I hope you kept the receipt’ was the call as Meadows launched into a worm burner. Although Meadows did his cause no harm for the lead role in Gladiator II as he ‘Unleashed Hell’ off the remaining tees with the new purchase, and showed the voice was up to the scrutiny of filming with some thunderous ‘fore shouts’. Hefter made good use of the local ruling making a fine par 5 up the second after finding the blue stakes twice. Unfortunately this was to be one of the few highlights for Hefter: immaculate from tee to within 20 yards of the green and off the scale for the remainder. Tuckwell began steadily although will be disappointed with a blob on 9, after impressively hitting a sapling full ball and rebounding back, and being able to play the next shot without adjusting an inch. In a close group it was Tuckwell by 2 at the turn. With the first 3 on the back 9 safely negotiated and the focus of ‘Hepburn Cam’ Meadows gave David Blaine a run for his money: changing into full wet gear, with hat and opened brolley in a blink of an eye as a 5 minute deluge decided to impart it’s watery mass onto the course. Tuckwell and Meadows were locked going up the straight as Hepburn set up for the ‘money shot’ on 17: Elevated tee, island green, into wind. Tuckwell first to the plate, unleashed a pearler, (holding the pose!) All over it…all over it…where’s that going to land…SPLASH, cue laughter! The remainder dispatched. . . and all three reloaded: Hefter the only one to make the back of the green second time round. Tuckwell hung on for the early clubhouse lead.

Horsburgh Snr, Daft and ‘course form’ Jenkinson departed with haste after the Marshall warned everyone was on the clock. Bob was obviously unhappy with his playing partners: vigorously beckoning 3 randoms’ from the putting green to much disillusionment from the said 3: ‘Bob we’re behind you already.’ answered Jenkinson and Daft, too much for Ladd! The group had a main focus on ‘player cam’ and it was Daft who lead the assault aiming for the first back to back win after becoming the first man to retain his crown at Norwood. Heppers demanded some danger money: settled in for a scenic view on 7, Jenkinson missing by metres! Dafty led by 5 at the turn with a superb sub 40 front 9. Jenko put himself into contention in the longest drive stakes, creeping past Dafty by a matter of inches. With the camera off, Horsburgh agonisingly missed holing out by inches from 80yds and wondered where the paparazzi were for that one! The 17th again provided more entertainment: Daft falling short by inches and Horsburgh pitching dry but ending up wet. Jenkinson made sure and hit one out of town, although became the first person to register any points! Standing with 36 points on the 18th, Dafty proving the thinking mans golfer, calculated he must have done enough and decided to ‘blob’ as to not have his handicap trimmed by 2, and indeed held the new clubhouse lead in an excellent scoring 3 ball.

Frame, Ladd, Horsburgh Jnr and Brown made up the final quartet. The latter deciding adamantly that there would be no requirement for a waterproof top and it would remain in the car…schoolboy error…Unperturbed, Brown arrowed in to 3 foot on the first for an opening birdie and optimism. Ladd was very tidy, an excellent par up 9, the highlight of a front 9 where a score was registered on every hole. Horsburgh once again ever steady, as Frame produced a mixed bag with some monstrous hitting. A three way tie: Brown, Ladd and Horsburgh by one from Frame. Once again a neat start to the back 9, although the monsoon seemingly putting skids to Ladd and Frame. One umbrella between four was potentially the undoing. Although for Frame, one may look no further than a horsebox meandering along an adjacent path. A confidently struck tee shot was followed by a subdued ‘oh!’ as a first bounce bomb ricocheted into the rear of the travelling cart, the ball was never found, perhaps disappearing up the exhaust! Brown seemed to be battling some putting demons on the baize and reports were that he would be returning with a putting psychologist at the next event, or certainly travelling with a new wand. Once again no green hit on 17, but the ever accurate Horsburgh managing an up and down for a best of the day par for 3 points: over a third of the points accumulated by all on the hole! Brown finished as he started, with a birdie 3, as the others headed to the bar.

Another thoroughly enjoyable day with a fine meal to start (and blue stakes) saw Daft (36) with a back to back win. Jenkinson (34) provided an excellent defence of his crown to sneak second and Tuckwell (32) made up the rostrum.

Ladd was clearly encouraged by his days playing and predicted he would bring his wellies to Six Hills as one would be filling ones boots as he said his goodbyes and was halfway towards the car park…

‘Laddy have you got your clubs?’… Errr, no, cheers!

Don't Stop Me Now, I'm Having Such A Good Time.

Friday Night, Cotgrave Masters: The Keyworth baby’s head wetting party, new dad Daft, Frame and new man Reed set out with the sharp shirts pressed and waiting and one eye on the Bridgford night scene. The big bear making his TGS debut found the going tough early on, as Daft looked to return to last years glittering form. It was Frame, with previous course form, who set the early pace a handful of 3 pointers and a half way lead by 4. With the sun still high in the sky a superb 12 points were attained by the three ball on the tricky 10th as Reed went on the charge. Daft appeared to stumble, but three 3 pointers in the last 4 holes left hope. Frame with a welcome return to form posted the early club house lead and dashed for the old spice.

A late reshuffle left the experienced trio of Horsburgh Snr, Dean and Tuckwell Snr to plunder the course. Dean decked out in full PNE regalia, launched one at the tree in the middle of the first fairway; unfortunately there it remained never to be seen again! Horsburgh registered a fine up and down out of the sand, amidst reports of a prior fall out with his clubs. Midweek Boots Captains Day winner set off with wings fully clipped but shoved it down the handicap committees’ throat with a 4 pointer on 2. Horsburgh’s love / hate relationship with his sticks swung firmly to ‘detest’ as a succession of 90° right angles led to the retort, ‘Bl**dy hell just like Tuesday, what am I doing!” Dean had his own issues on 9 as the group debated whether Jim’s ball had cleared the ditch. A scene from Carry On can only be best described.

Scene 1:
Jim, Andrew, Rob, searching in the grass short of the ditch.
Rob: Titleist, Jim?
Jim: Yes, well found.
Ball is hacked over the ditch. Group proceed to walk up the fairway
Andrew: There’s a Dunlop here, wonder where that’s come from?
Jim: Oh my god! That’s my drive. I play both Titleist and Dunlop!
Both balls picked up sheepishly.

This distraction appeared to be the catalyst for Horsburgh as the shanks stopped and scoring commenced. Red hot Tuckwell led by 8 at the turn. Dean, new 9, new start, once again found the tree down the middle of the 10th but with the golfing gods given enough amusement the ball was this time returned as Jim began to pile on the points. No respite from Tuckwell as a monster putt was holed off the green for the first of his two birdie 2’s on the back 9. Get your lottery tickets Andrew: an apparent below par bogey on 17 was made to look even more impressive as it included a visit to the water. The Sun shines on the righteous!

Baker, sporting a tangerine, adonis, figure hugging top, and the two loose cannons: Ball and Dessaur were looking to liven things up. Baker produced the usual: a mixed bag of big hitting 3 pointers and no scores, unfortunately the latter being more common place. Dessaur and Ball were blow for blow, with Dessaur leading by 1 at the turn. Dessaur turned up the heat with a chip in on 10, closely followed by Ball who lipped out with the next shot. Baker failed to trouble the scorers until the 13th, while the others continued trailblazing. Dessaur’s ‘lazer’ putting technique holding firm and Ball more at home on the flat than the hilly terrain of Rushcliffe! Baker had the last word: driving to 12 foot on the last and departing with 4 very welcomed points!

Horsburgh Jnr, Hefter, Atkinson and Ladd were elevated up the order. Hefter keen to be paired with Horsey to discuss the merits of spread betting. Atkinson set the first 5 holes alight accumulating four 3 pointers, Hefter impressively impersonated a camel and decided to douse those flames with four ‘slashes’ in the first 5 holes! Ladd, in the handicappers grip, was left trailing the early leaders Atkinson and Horsburgh, in spite of claiming some relief from a rabbit hole. Horsburgh was looking to power home but had some issues ‘inserting whilst on the tee’ and had to settle for another above par, but below expectations performance. Hefter was disappointed to miss out again after the free scoring show at Wollaton. Atkinson held it together with his best ever round and the group spoils, well done Reggie. Ladd crept home giving the punters plenty to think about before parting with any cash.

Thacker, Phoenix and Hepburn were the penultimate group out. Hepburn with a chance to harass Ladd, was once again ‘peppered’ himself standing innocently on the veranda as a ball pin balled amongst the table and chairs from the 9th. Hepburn, still shaken, propelled his first tee shot inversely proportional to Thacker who struck the heart of the green with a 3 wood. A 3 stab from Thacker seemed to set the tone for his round and set the blood levels to simmer. Hepburn began to crank it up with a procession of scores with Phoenix once again setting a formidable pace, leading by 2. A raucous Phoenix birdie on the difficult 8th was even more outstanding after a huge putt was sunk through arctic wasteland, tundra and desert. Things were going from bad to worse for Thacker, a ¾ flick with a sand wedge on the tiny 17th, sailed handsomely into next week and steam began to appear from the aforementioned ears, and blood set on boil. This was followed by the hugest hit ever witnessed by Phoenix. Thacker ripped and ready with meltdown imminent launched a monster down the never ending lake line on the 17th. After a minute of would it / wouldn’t it the ball ‘splashed’ agonisingly short of safety as the volcano erupted! Phoenix will be disappointed not to have scored up the last as Hepburn had the last laugh with the group win on count back.

New man Haslam, Hallam, dressed for Cotgrave leisure centre, ‘schools out for summer’ Tuckwell Jnr and Hall propped up the rear hoping to save the best until last. The quartet started very steadily. Tuckwell finding some solace with a 4 pointer on 2 amongst some very erratic play on the short stuff. Hall remained consistent scoring on every hole, while the Bingham boys flew out the traps. Hallam was ecstatic and vociferous after his first professional birdie: yielding a stern reprimand from the group in front unaware of the significance. Andy, still on the crest of a wave accumulated 11 points in 3 holes despite constant barracking from Hall. Tuckwell took matters in his own hands to reel in the high flying Haslam, off a very questionable ‘28’ handicap. After lashing at a wide drive in thick bermuda the ball came out head high at right angles, a quick dodge and weave left Haslam unscarred! A face from the past, Fergie: ‘The Tango Kid, of previous Cotgrave FC v Tollerton FC fame teed up behind the final four. Much waiting on each tee proved too much for the ‘cheeky chappie’ and he was seen swinging from the branches of the 8th tee a’la a young Martin Ball. The ‘stocky chopper’ then proceeded to race to the following tee to offer an array of freshly picked wild cherries! How bizarre! Haslam by 1 at the turn. Tuckwell started the back 9 on the offensive with three 3 pointers then became offensive as yet more putts slipped past! Hallam had another purple patch restoring his scoring potency. Hall found some consistency with a shortened swing and an ever improving game: reinforced by scoring on all but one hole, well done Matt. Haslam finished with a huge 47 points including a blob and two 1 pointers and facing a stewards’ enquiry!

The jockey’s awaited the news in the paddock and were left hats off once again to the man of the moment Tuckwell Snr (41) with an immense 2 over, 72 gross. A man who clearly enjoys the course after previously having a ’69’ round the same track. The podium places were a tight affair with a compact field. Dessaur (40), Hallam (40) filling them with career high rounds followed by Atkinson (39) and a return to form by Frame (39).

Title Defence

The selected six, set off to last seasons’ hardest course for the Norwood Open, with clubs and pants just dried out from the rain affected Greater Radcliffe Open. With the buggies fully juiced, radio on for score updates and Horsey not on his way to Newark, the sextet began.

Horsburgh Jnr, Tuckwell Jnr and marathon man Jenkinson had the honours. A trio of doubles (unfortunately not JD’s) on the straight forward opener seemed ominous. Horsburgh adapted the quickest and steadied the ship with news of an early goal for the baggies and a profit on the spread bet. Tuckwell sparked into to life with a 4 pointer on 6 as Horsburgh had an uncharacteristic wobble. Jenko hit, on any other occasion the shot of the day, an immaculate 4 iron to the long Par 3 7th: to keep up a steady points score on every hole. Tuckwell and Horsburgh were tied at the turn and went wheel spinning into the back 9. Jenko appeared to have a flash back of last years horror show and failed to trouble the scorers past the turn before regaining composure and finishing steadily. Tuckwell and Horsburgh were embroiled in a tete a tete with the lead exchanging hands on every hole. Tied after 16, the inevitable occurred as Tuckwell horseshoed from the centre of the cup and Horsburgh confidently holed. Horsey turned the screw down the last to take victory after discounting the following group.

Hepburn, Hefter and Daft set off blazing down the centre of the fairway. Hefter started steadily enough but seemed more intent on scoring Dafty off scratch and himself off 28! And also having to contend with underhand tactics: Tuckwell disguising an approach with leaves, after being peppered with an approach. One is not amused! (Disclaimer: The whereabouts of the ball was eventually revealed!) Daft led by 3. Heppers began to ‘mount’ a charge as Hefter began to fade with one eye on the impending gloom that was appearing on the horizon and the other casting back to Radcliffe. The shot of the day was saved for the tricky Par 3, 174yd, 17th: On approach to the tee Hepburn stated that as yet no one had holed in one in TGS history; and was swiftly laughed out of town by his playing partners that it was unlikely to happen here! A couple of high, wide and handsomes were sent airborne by Daft and Hefter before Heppers stepped to the plate. 8 iron unsheathed: Wide arc: Crisp strike: Ball flag bound: An... 'in the hole/you the man/ go get ‘em Tiger/open a can of whoop ass’ type call from Daft was followed by one bounce and the ball hitting the pin square and dropping like a stone.

Unsure from the tee, a hasty hop in the buggies revealed a mixture of:

1) Disappointment: The ball finished 2 inches short of the pin.
2) Satisfaction: That was a mighty fine golf shot and a 2 for 1 for 4
3) Relief: Wasn’t ‘Golf Planned Up’ so could have cost a fortune!

Nonchalantly the group headed down the last as the black clouds skirted southwards and the lead group waited by the green. Tales recounted it became apparent that Daft was very much still in the reckoning, although a slippery 4 footer would needed to be holed to tie Horsburgh. With new putter in hand it was duly converted and fist pumped. Hefter tried his best to discredit Dafty’s score with some errant pencil work but the panel confirmed the following after checking the count back:

Daft (33: B9:18) was victorious and became the first man to retain his crown with a new joint course record. Horsburgh Jnr (33: B9: 17), also with the joint course record, can be very pleased with his approach play, robotically getting up and down from 60yds and in. Tuckwell (31) snuck a podium place from Hepburn (29)

Taming of the Course

Always a pleasure, an evenings golf at Wollaton Park. Frame, 100% Mcloughlin, and Horsburgh Snr opened up proceedings. The handicap committee hoping to have clipped the wings of free scoring McLoughlin. Bob already provided the entertainment announcing that he had missed the initial Wollaton turn off but took the next left so that was fine. . . bearing in mind this was the one way slip road entering the dual carriage way, fine may not have been the appropriate choice of words! McLoughlin once again flew out of the traps, single figures proving unproblematic, firing a level par, 23 point, opening 9 total, and a 7 point lead. A rare errant drive on 10, left the door ajar as Bob joined the exclusive 5 point club with a 3 for 1 for 5 on 12. A very profitable hole all round as 11 points were amassed by the 3 ball, easy – easy – easy! Horsburgh now hot in pursuit of McLoughlin was 3 behind standing on the last and fired a 4 net 3 for 3 to bridge the gap, Mcloughlin dug deep for a 2 pointer to sneak home by 2 and grab pole. . . (a familiar position!)

Proud Grand parent Baker Snr, Hall and a slim line, best turned out Jenkinson set off full of optimism. Hall, unfortunately, with one eye on the ‘unwanted record’, saved a few reloads and finished the front 9 with a minor flurry. Jenkinson’s highlight of a steady 9 was the birdie 2 on the tricky 8th. Baker held the early impetus with a smattering of 3 pointers in a solid opening 9 and a 5 point lead. Hall apparently had some memory lapses: forgetting balls/head covers/clubs and was frequently spotted scurrying back to previous holes to retrieve. But, finished with an excellent 4 for 4 on 18. Baker produced a masterful back 9, a superb birdie 2 on the tricky 11th contributing nicely, apparently pitching 2 foot behind the pin and spinning back. . . Baker having wrestled the initiative into his corner waited with anticipation.

Tuckwell Jnr, Horsburgh Jnr, and Hepburn teed off in front of the big guns, and all drives were dispatched confidently, Tuckwell hoping his topped second that rolled 10 yards went unnoticed! Horsey was on fire, stating anything less than a 24 point opening 9 would be unsatisfactory. If not for a couple of short ones that slid passed the total would have been attained. Hepburn ever the gent, cracked the alcohol on 5 and duly sent down a putt with extra coal onboard! Tuckwell was slowly finding his rhythm but could only look on, trailing by 5. Hepburn had more to contend with on the back 9, embroiled in a legal dispute, as he appeared to be a magnet for small white golf balls! Heppers wondered if the ankle was sore from kicking balls away or burying them 6 feet under. The trio had a ‘mare’ on 16 all finding the thick stuff not very far from the tee causing a minor tail back, Horsey was very disappointed as it ruined his 2 and 3 pointers! Parity restored with a strong finish and another monster score.

Ladd, new father Baker Jnr and never-a-dull-moment Phoenix, were relegated to the rear due to last minute shredding and faxing duties from Ladd, who appeased the restless crowds with some very tasty cherry oatcakes. Baker unaccustomed and slightly wary of the rutting stags on course, introduced a 3 point bonus if one was struck obviously fearing the worst! (more profitable would’ve been a 3 point Hepburn striking bonus!) Beware: A double ‘fore right’ was dispatched on the 3rd, two innocent members stared in disbelief: surely not meant for us... then were scattered as it surely was meant for them! Ladd and Phoenix were 4 clear at the turn with a succession of 3 pointers (Legitimate: not through stags hit.) The fun didn’t stop there. From the elevated 12th another ‘Ladd bomb’ was launched: with Hepburn square in the sighters. Hepburn with a deft dance floor shuffle with the trolley avoided the pill and with the outside of the boot sent it rough bound. Cue hysterics from the tee! Ladd unnerved by the ‘hope your golf planned up!’ note left on the next tee carried on his points tally. Baker getting some good ‘rip’ on the greens thanked the group ahead for wasting a good 30mins of his life on 16 due to some waywardness! Ladd goaded by his playing partners once again ‘locked on’ for Hepburn down the centre of 18, and the ball trickled gently passed: Therefore it was somewhat surprising that it ended up a rather nasty plug mark. . . surrounded by a size 10 imprint! Not to be outdone Baker sent a further reminder. Cue laughter and fist shaking! Amidst the frivolity was some high quality golf with 2 more huge scores from Phoenix and Ladd.

There it was, each group housing the clubhouse leader until last man in Laddy reigned victorious with a TGS record: a 43 point haul and a superb 78 gross. Baker Snr (40) with the strongest back 9 was joined by Phoenix (40) and Horsburgh Jnr (40). McLoughlin (39) and Horsburgh (37) can be very pleased with scoring round a difficult course. Good golf!

A.T, Goes Home (victorious...again!)

Morley Hayes the venueas the form trio, Tuckwell Snr, Hefter (in a delightful ping combination!) and Hepburn (after midweek Royal Guernsey outing) started the 4 hour countdown to World Cup time. A.T striking first blood with an unlikely par on hole one after a 10 yard tee shot. Heppers countered: an approach pitching inches from the hole and duly converted on 3. Hefter was motoring nicely before a spot of gardening, being awkwardly placed in a ditch a full swing resulted in an azalea being propelled greenward and the ball remaining stationary. A.T had brought his monkey with him, for the second time on 4: ball arrowing treebound was repelled back short of a ditch and a par recorded. Heppers with a can of pimms aboard trailed by 3 at the turn, mainly due to some sand trouble. With the G&T kicking in Heppers began his assault with a golden ferret out the sand on 13, followed up with some monkey business of his own: turning in disgust as a launcher from the 14th tee, viciously heading towards the depth of Morley forest came whizzing back, pin ball style, into view whilst searching for a reload, and a par was miraculously made. The match was delicately poised standing on 18: Hefter with a one shot lead (32) and two shots, from Hepburn (31) with a strong back 9 and Tuckwell (31). Hefter dispatched a drive into the rough and ignored calls from his experienced playing partners ‘to get it back into play’, opted for the over, under, round, through and across 3 wood from deep rough sitting down and persevered with it again. . . again. . .and again before making his way pointless to the clubhouse. Heppers could only double, leaving the way clear for A.T to strike the early initiative!

Tuckwell Jnr, an ‘all white’ Meadows, Hall and Daft were aiming to keep the balls on the island. 2 waterbound efforts on 1 ended the challenge of 2. Meadows intent on retrieving his was sent packing by a territorial maternal coot and decided to let it be. Tuckwell with re-modelled swing and calmer temperament started solidly but another pond plunger on 5 saw his challenge derailed. Daft was struggling on the short stuff due to a cracked putter insert. A little treat was left on 6, ‘pimms o clock’ from the generous Hepburn. Meadows was finding his form; showing remarkable restraint reaching for the 4 iron each time on the tee with the 3 wood calling his name. Meadows led comfortably by 2 at the turn. Tuckwell began to find some consistency but too many shots into the heavy rough eventually costing dear. Hall with one eye on the football faded with a personal best in sight. Meadows remained consistent until a couple of right angles on 17 but hit a huge 4 iron - 8 iron combo to the last for a satisfying 3 point finish. The quartet exited the playing arena with not a soul on the course bar a couple of enthusiastic Chinese!

There it was, Tuckwell Snr (33) in disbelief at another shot gone and third win of the season from a return to form Hepburn (32) and a collarless Ping shirted, Ping belted, Parnevikesque styled Hefter (32). Meadows (31) firing a solid performance.

A.T. Shines in 5 Star Showing

A reduced field due to the Test Match and KCC cup action saw the circus roll into a steamy Springwater. Lots were drawn, Hepburn, Daft and Hoenigmann were due to open up although the start time passed without Hoenigmann anywhere to be seen. Allegedly cruising round Calverton with the soft top down?!?

Horsburgh Snr was elevated into the lead group. 3 drives were dispatched, moments later laughter as Hepburn’s trolley was one wheel short of its compliment. An ominous omen and very, very early for the wheels to come off! Things didn’t improve with the G&T being cracked open after hole 5. Horsburgh tried a spot of baseball after a precariously placed tee shot teetered on the edge of a bunker, leaving him with ball chest high as he entered the sand. A finely executed curve ball unfortunately found more sand and even more entertainment as the ball exited the new hazard with such velocity that it registered at East Midlands Airport. Horsburgh led by 3 at the turn. Daft defied all mathematical possibility, firing a drive at an improbable 100° angle left on hole 10, possibly ‘megging’ himself and no doubt eager to join in the excitement. Playing partners thought Daft had seen enough on 12, but he had instead decided to make his own way to the next tee and was spotted returning via thick undergrowth bamboozled. Horsburgh had already upended his trolley twice and made it a superb third time lucky by spectacularly hitting the trolley handle on the backswing which snagged the club and left it ‘out of Bob’s hands’. Unperturbed Horsburgh topped the group and hit the bar.

Tuckwell Jnr, Hefter, Hall and Hoenigmann set off despite barracking from Horsey to be let through without having played a shot. Hefter was on fire, in a fetching salmon pink, and littered his front 9 with numerous 3 & 4 pointers. Hall decided not to trouble the scorers on the first two, instead saving the lead in his pencil for hole 3 and a magnificent 3 for 1 for 5! Overshadowing a, poor in comparison, 4 for 2 for 4 from Hoenigmann! The group resisted to the temptation of moving the 5th tee markers to an unused mat on hole 5 for the arrival of Horsey. Hefter held a mighty 6 shot lead at halfway, aware that there was some players on fire in the group behind. Tuckwell began unleashing some monsters but inexplicably yipped everything around the green earning the ‘heads a shed award’. Meltdown completed when his reload on the last was discarded into the water to be re-united with the original after not troubling the scorecard. Tuckwell possibly ruing a rash comment that the water doesn’t really come into play. Hefter stumbled home for handicap protection as Hall and Hoenigmann finished off with scores that didn’t reflect how they had played.

Come on down: Tuckwell Snr, Horsburgh Jnr, Meadows and Jenkinson. Tuckwell intent on keeping the group ahead on their toes peppered one greenside on the tricky par 5 first. Hefter remarked that it was ok because it was just low enough to jump over! Tuckwell unfazed duly sunk the pitch for a second of the day 5 pointer. 3 for 2 for 5, nice! Surely only one way from there . . . onwards and upwards. Jenkinson decided to save energy and ring the bell with his approach shot. Horsburgh maintained composure over a short one on 6, as Tuckwell Jnr was asking God how his ball could possibly be heading towards an unplayable patch of rough from the 7th tee. Horsburgh and Tuckwell were tied, poised and threatening, at the turn. Meadows, in contention after 9, was frequently seen scouring the long stuff after some long yet errant hitting although he seemed quite content in gathering a new collection of equally errant balls. Horsey, clinging to the coat tails of Tuckwell, tried all the tricks in the book, you’re playing well. . .you’ve got a good score going. . . you could win this. . . 40 points for you here… nearly got his comeuppance almost being decapitated for the second week running, this time by Jenkinson. Tuckwell remained thick skinned despite one point on the closing 2 holes. Meadows was pleased to find his tee shot resting on the practise putting green off the last tee, as it was spotted heading full ball towards a Bentley.

Another enjoyable and highly entertaining TGS episode saw Tuckwell Snr (39) with his second impressive win of the year and off a very low mark for the foreseeable. Hefter (36) grabbed second but was disappointed not to have made a reduction in his handicap. J. Horsburgh (34) snatched third but knew there was more in the tank after failing to score on 1, 17 and 18. R. Horsburgh (33) compiled another impressive total, also with 3 blanks.

12 is the Magic Number

A bumper 16 were due for Bondhay or more aptly Bondi: with its equivalent amount of sand. Although 16 became 14: Hallam suffering in a post cup final stupor and Thacker having a ‘mare’ with his scheduling. A chicken / stuffing /roastie combo settled the nerves of a few. Ladd unfortunately rueing, the evenings final Strongbow which was sitting rather uneasily. Omens looked ominous: the course recommended by Horsburgh Snr, saw him not travel possibly due to a previous visit with the Old Peculiars seeing the honours taken by 26 points. The local, yokel, Marshall informed us in a quaint north Notts manner that it was f’ing freezing and you’ll need an f’ing coat before leaving us be, slightly different way of being announced onto the tee!

Meadows, Horsburgh Jnr and Hall got proceedings underway. Meadows off to a flier before
appearing to be battling some inner golfing demons and firmly applying the handbrake. Horsburgh was 5 clear at the turn, before all three ‘took the plunge’ on the picturesque 10th. Horsburgh was on the charge until encountering his nemesis on the 15th. . . . ‘a mat’, and duly failed to trouble the scorers, but none-the-less held a testing club house lead. Hall finished with a superb 12 points in the last 4 holes to post a career high score.

Tuckwell ‘bad back!’ Snr, Brown, Hoenigmann and Hefter were eager to impress. Tuckwell played aggressively showing disdain for the well positioned and plentiful bunkers, leaving this task to Hefter: who frequented more ‘traps’ than his usual number Guinness’s drunk in a week! Brown, with little regard for the fauna, hit some ‘little rippers’ but couldn’t come to grips with the short stuff. Tuckwell led by 3 at the turn. There were a few shaky moments around the turn for A.T. before cranking it up a gear to wrestle the initiative from Horsburgh.

Ladd, debutant Atkinson, Baker Snr and Jenkison provided a mixed treat of ‘fores, ball meet timber, laughter, anguish and reloads. High with optimism the boots duo can’t have anticipated having ’12’ in their sighters. 10 points after 15 holes had Ladd sweating and rumour has it the police chopper was scrambled to ensure he made it home, also compounded by becoming Hepburn’s target practice on 16, laces and belts please. A mini-revival saw the mark surpassed. Baker with a ‘zorroesque’ swing matched Jenkinson’s back 9 score, but was left trailing by 5.

Hepburn, Rymer and Tuckwell Jnr had ‘plenty of points to prove’ and to Hepburn’s relief his own ‘low 9’ unwanted record was surpassed on the second. Rymer was in immaculate ball striking form and had the short game holding up. Rymer by 3 at the turn after an exquisitely holed bunker shot on 9 for 4 points. 3 hours for 10 holes brought the Marshall into play and the pino colada out. Rymer sensibly abstained and left Tuckwell Snr sweating.

Despite a bad back Tuckwell Snr took the spoils (and single figures) with a spectacular 39 points
accompanied on the podium by a resurgent Rymer (36) and Horsburgh Jnr (32) Jenkinson (31) finished with the only other score in the 30’s on a challenging yet impressive course.

Homers Make Hay

A bumper 18 arrived at Stanton-on-the-Wolds as the sun eventually parted the ever present dullness. Everyone in buoyant mood bar an edgy organiser: despairing that the pro was still on the premises and numerous fictitious members couldn’t be created and guests squeezed through at discount rates!

Anecdotes are a little thin on the ground due to an early closure of the bar and a spread out field, but I will endeavour to fill in the gaps. I am sure participants of the afternoon can fill in the finer details: there must have been plenty, with ‘Skegness Mud’ (mats) still gracing the majority of clubs.

Mcloughlin, Frame, Daft and debutant Meadows got the season underway. Frame off to a flyer before slipping into the pack. Daft appeared wary of a potentially high score and another early season handicap reduction, although finished strongly. The Ex-Stanton boys were inseparable firing down the last, after a high scoring 17 holes, but it was McLoughlin who sneaked home by two.

Thacker, Hoenigmann and last seasons’ runner up Hepburn, aimed to silence the eager afternoon crowd. Hepburn, sun kissed from the Cayman, may have wished he was still on sunnier shores, ‘helter skeltering’ one around a cluster of firs on the first, the least of his concerns.

When interviewed, Hepburn replied:

‘Catastrophic wasn’t the word...... 2points at the turn...... but the best was yet to come, when, on the 12th (?) fairway, I managed to top a 4 iron with such velocity that the ball rebounded out of the large crater it made, and finished two feet BEHIND the point where it originally lay. Physically impossible, but I did it!'

In true style a G & T was uncapped on 17 and by all accounts polished off, in one. Good work fella! Hoenigmann & Thacker consolidated.

Lock up your daughters: Jenkinson, Dessaur and debutant Cooke, set off all guns blazing and in first gear. Scoring was prolific through the field but resulted in being put on the clock. Cooke remained rock steady throughout, closely followed by an immaculately turned out Dessaur with an impressive personal points tally. Jenkinson powered home, keen to challenge in this years overall standings.

Horsburgh Snr, Horsburgh Jnr, Rymer & 3 year absentee Hood all got one away down the first to the disappointment of Hall! Hood and Family Horsburgh were ‘tit for tat’ at the turn and left trailing a resurgent Rymer. Hepburn had obviously showcased a ‘Wish you were here’ Cayman extravaganza to the Horsburghs’ as both father and son were spotted very happily ‘swishing and splashing’ around in the sand. . . more than once.

Tuckwell Jnr, Ladd, Brown and Hall propped up the rear, in free swinging and scoring mood. Ladd went through the whole repertoire, although unfortunately for the big man, could not string any devastating combinations together, however was saved by some ‘wwwright tatches’ around the baize, to squeeze out of trouble. Hall remained solid, only undone by some loose greenside shots. Tuckwell & Brown were trading ‘birdie blows’ up the stretch, an immense 25 yard chip: into, up, over, across, round and down by Brown the highlight on 16.

The Stanton leader board once again had a very ‘homeresque’ feel to it, with the podium places being filled by former and present Stanton boys. R. ‘2 from 2, ‘stand and deliver’ McLoughlin took the spoils (41) followed by debutant Meadows (39) and a well ‘Easter’ holidayed Tuckwell Jnr (39). Cooke (35) and Brown (35) posted very commendable totals off some low figures.