Smashed

With faith finally restored in the met office, after a near weekend washout, Stanton paid host to the hopeful travelling 17. An abundance of ‘members’ saw a very generous green fee aided by a very generous (mis) calculation. Thank you.

Meadows, Frame, Mckenzie-Bell and McLoughlin opened up, nearly a 3 ball with Meadows walking like John Wayne with the weight of the world appearing to be applied to the foot. When questioned, a late night, play fight, volley to a mates head resulted in some bulbous little toes. It appears the incident happened without footwear but those involved were fully clothed! Despite this setback Meadows was first to show with some nett birdies, before taking some tentative steps backwards with his swollen digits. Frame decided to steal the limelight on 5. With things in the balance Frame lined up a putt too many resulting in an almighty split in his kecks – group laughter reaching all parts. Clearly method to the madness: an unrestricted free swinging birdie on 6 followed. Mckenzie-Bell was the steady player but couldn’t shrug off McLoughlin at the turn. Frame hit a strong northerly up the stretch deflating his sails but certainly didn’t experience any sweaty… palms. Meadows was three clear up the last but couldn’t have anticipated a fine nett eagle from McKenzie-Bell to level matters. McLoughlin, off a tight mark, finished solidly contemplating what could haven been.

Hoenigmann was partnered by the Plough boys: Horsburgh Snr and Tuckwell Snr of which the opening credit could also apply. The latters both claiming to be out of touch, with A.T hoping that if 10 games in 10 days wouldn’t do the trick, an afternoon in the Plough would! Hoenigmann opened up with 5 in 5 – bunkers that is, but produced some great sand saves. Horsburgh was hanging in there; deforming the hole with an aggressive one on 5 to keep in touch until a double watery grave in the middle trap on 6 halted proceedings. A.T was having a London Pride/ Spitfire / Roaring Meg fuelled front 9 to be leading by 4. Unfortunately the only liquid to be found at the turn was H20 which clearly upset the ballast, until - the scent of the Plough once again filled the nostrils up the business end. Horsburgh wrestled some 90º demons before being corrected. Hoenigmann had a mini wobble before regaining composure and once again finishing with the same ball that he set out with.

Ladd and Dennis were once again teamed up: both debating that the aim of such events was to surely meet new people… so Drury was added to provide some seasoning. Most days of the week Ladd’s 17 point half way total would leave one ready for an onslaught and rutting for group superiority but found Drury applying a, foot to the throat, choke hold, with a superb one over par, 23 point haul. If that was the choke hold Dennis produced such barbarity that a double life sentence would have been dished out. A monster 26 point opening salvo, smashing Hepburn’s, best 9, record by 1 with 20 points in the final 6. Drury drew within 2 points on the 12th but the searing heat proved unapproachable and the challenge went up in flames. Ladd, serving up the aperitif’s, finally drew the plaudits with an immense iron to 4 foot on 15. Birdie surely… Not after Drury and Dennis, both in the sand, removed a small sand dune which cascaded right onto the line of the putt; which was left a sand grain short, no justice! Dennis simmered home to announce to the baying crowd what had just unfolded, brave man!

Ardent campaigners Horsburgh Jnr and Hefter were joined by debutant and ex-40 goal season man, Rymer II who let fly with a screamer off the first. Hefter was making all the running: 14 points through 5, banishing any prior demons. For once Horsburgh’s short game dipped below the usual impeccable standards leaving the suave figure of Hefter in a haze on the horizon, clear by 8. Horsburgh improved but couldn’t quite claw back the deficit as Hefter finished with handbrake firmly applied, although had enough in the bank for the group honours

The KU Connection of Tuckwell Jnr, Ball and past Stanton Junior Captains Allen and Aldred brought up the rear. Ball, the Tony Drago of golf, played ‘blink and you’ll miss it stuff’ - intent on a couple of looseners before home time. Alldred with one of his first games of the year quickly got back into the swing, recovering with some soft touches. Tuckwell was scrappy but was aided by home field course knowledge. Allen ruing an uncharacteristic double on 4, called for back to back birdies and delivered, seeing him clear by 1 at the turn with all four only separated by 2. Purists had to check that it was golf and not a late night subscription required after Ball had reportedly ‘whacked one off’ the 13th, followed by Aldred ‘tugging one off’ the 14th but fears were allayed. With things become more errant the aerial root was called for and out came the ‘flop’; executed nicely by Tuckwell before Allen required a couple of 30 yard recoveries after firing through the greens. With Ball relaying the benefits of spread betting, usually while putting, Alldred became the focus of player cam and where the smart money should be laid. Ball rekindled aspirations with a tidy nett eagle on 16. Tuckwell finished strongly but wasn’t allowed to 3 stab on 18 to avoid a handicap reduction. A great up and down by Aldred saw him home by one.

And off to the Plough (or back for some) to compare and contrast the days proceedings. An absolute monster from Dennis (47) smashing Ladd’s all-comers record, 43 pts, and Hepburn’s 9 hole high, 25 pts, ensured a back to back victory. The Stanton boys jostled for the minor places with Aldred (38) pipping Tuckwell Snr (38) on the back 9 for silver.